Why is Getting Pregnant (or Staying Pregnant) so Complicated?

There is nothing more beautiful than a pregnant woman.  I always laugh when I hear people saying that.

What could be more beautiful than “morning” sickness, swollen extremities and spontaneous crying?  I would always hear about the pregnancy glow, and would wonder when I would get my glow…and, I think it’s safe to say my glow started the day my daughter was born.  If you’ve ever read What to Expect When You’re Expecting, or watched the movie, it couldn’t be more true.  I would say my pregnancy experience was the most relatable to Elizabeth Banks’ character (from the movie). 

Don’t get me wrong, it’s an absolute blessing to become pregnant and carry a baby… It’s a gift that many take for granted and I am certainly NOT someone to take it for granted… However, I do like to laugh about some of the ups and downs from my pregnancy.

Getting Pregnant

This experience can range widely for many.  While it seems some people get pregnant within a snap of their finger,  others try for years, and for some, they’re unable to conceive no matter what methods they try.   This is why I believe it’s so important to be mindful and respectful of everyone’s situation.  If you’re having an unpleasant pregnancy, try and remember how lucky you are to be pregnant.  While some pregnant ladies complain about their back aches or ever expanding body, some women would give anything for those feelings if it meant they had the ability to become pregnant and carry their child.

For me, I heard a lot of friends around me expressing their concerns about how difficult it had been for them to conceive.  I never felt worried about being unable to get pregnant, but I always wondered how long it would take.  A few weeks after deciding we would start trying, I started noticing some interesting changes with myself.

My husband and I were in the process of selling our house (which was outside of the city) because we decided we wanted to move closer to town and experience some more travelling while we tried for a baby.   About a week later, I started having an insatiable appetite for tomatoes.  They tasted like candy.  I thought this was a bit odd, especially considering I’ve never really enjoyed tomatoes.  But, I didn’t really think anything of it.

Later on that week, during one of our trips to drop off donations from our sold house, I suddenly had a huge craving for a chocolate milkshake.  My husband went into the shop and got me the most delicious chocolate shake.  I think I drank it in about 3 slurps.

A few days later I had come down with a nasty cold.  I stayed home from work and laid in my bed surrounded by Kleenex.  My husband came home from work and quietly cleaned up the Kleenex from our bed.  I remember waking up, noticing my Kleenex’s were gone and hysterically crying.  My husband came running into the bedroom and asked what I was crying about and through sobs I muttered, “I reuse my Kleenex and you threw them out”.  He had a very difficult time holding back his laughter.  Looking back, I have no clue where this emotional break came from, especially considering I’ve never once held onto a Kleenex to reuse it.

We both decided maybe we should try a pregnancy test.  I did the test and it showed a very faint line, almost unrecognizable so we figured it was a negative result.  At this point I would have only been about 3 weeks pregnant.

My girlfriend and I had a planned trip to Bermuda for that following week to visit my Mom.  On our way to the aiport I told her I thought I might be pregnant but I had some spotting so I wasn’t entirely sure.  When we arrived at my Mom’s house in Bermuda, I told her about some of the weird things I had been noticing with my body lately.  Right away, she said “you’re pregnant”.

I felt fine the entire trip, enjoyed the weather and ate about 40 tomatoes.  We got home from Bermuda on our second wedding anniversary.  My husband picked us up from the aiport and I told him we should try another test.  We did one that night and it was a strong double line.  Even though we saw it was a positive, we still frantically googled what a positive result would look like just to confirm.

I had my first doctors appointment with my family physician that following week.  They did a urine sample and confirmed I was pregnant and then sent me for some blood work.

I started prenatal vitamins a couple of months before I got pregnant, so I continued taking the same ones.  What initially started off as morning nausea turned into a full blown all day sickness.  I would spontaneously throw up with such force and little-to-no warning.  This caused a few awkward moments.

A few weeks later, I started spotting again and I had horrible cramps.  I called my family doctor and she sent me for follow up bloodwork.

The next day while I was resting at home, I received a call from my doctor indicating that she was really sorry but I had had a miscarriage.  I was devastated.  I was only 7 weeks along and was feeling a lot better with no spotting.

We had already told our parents about the pregnancy (which happened to be the first grandbaby on both sides).  I was shocked, I felt like I was just getting use to the idea of being pregnant and then all of a sudden I wasn’t? I felt so confused and overwhelmed.  I still felt pregnant…the spotting had stopped and I was still nauseous and getting sick.  (“I never thought I’d be so happy to be feeling the morning sickness”)!

My husband was completely surprised when I called him and told him the news.  He quickly rushed home from work.   I called my family mid afternoon and told them we had lost the baby.  Everyone was devastated.  Luckily, my family knew the situation and were very supportive.  I can’t imagine how people go through those emotions on their own.

My Aunt guided me through my feelings and helped me understand what was going on with my body.  My doctor said to wait for one really bad day to come with heavy bleeding.  I sat around the house all weekend waiting and waiting, all while experiencing my familiar pregnancy symptoms.

Finally, the following week we were sent for an ultrasound.  The ultraound technician was aware of our situation and was very kind throughout the process.  Eventually she completed an internal exam at which point she stopped, looked at me and said… “When did you have the miscarriage?”  I explained it was the previous Thursday.  She asked if she could bring my husband in.  She got him from the waiting room and turned the monitor towards us.  As she did, she pointed out a very small circle that was pulsating rhythmically.  She explained that was our baby and it had a very strong heartbeat… We were completely baffled.  We couldn’t understand how this happened but we were over the moon excited.

We raced to the car and called our parents back one by one to explain that we didn’t have a miscarriage.  Everyone was in shock (much like us) but thrilled.

The next 28 weeks were equally chaotic but still perfect!



2 thoughts on “Why is Getting Pregnant (or Staying Pregnant) so Complicated?

  1. Just landed on your blog using tags!! I can’t tell you how happy I am to read your story! 🙂 N I so wish the same happens in my case – I really need a miracle. Somewhat similar state I am in – 7 weeks and not sure if I would be able to continue with my pregnancy. Take Care of yourself n d baby 🙂

    • Thanks for reading! Hope it helped. Try and stay positive, I will be sending good thoughts your way!!! Please let me know if you have any questions at all… I I had quite the tumultuous pregnancy, so I’m happy to share any personal experiences!

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